lately

First, I'd like to say, I LOVE my Razorbacks, no matter what, so all that trash talk can stop.  Woo Pig.

I digress...

This last week or so has been a pretty sad one, to say the least.  I lost a Sorority sister, a church member, and then another church member, who bless her heart was only 20 years old.  She went to have a celebratory meal with her friends and in the rain and grossness of the day, was in a car accident and was killed.  My heart broke when my mother told me that this girl was gone.  I seriously had to do a double take and ask her to repeat what she said.  It was a feeling of instant shock and sadness.  Ever since then, I have been just sick to my stomach for my friend's family.

I mean, I just couldn't fathom being a mother and having to bury my child who is just starting out life as an adult.  There's so much to see and do and experience, that's just a horrible time.  And mamas should not bury their children.  It should not happen like that.  My heart is just hurting.

Times are hard, y'all.  This has just been a truly surreal week.  But in all of the craziness and sadness that has hit home for me, I keep on pressing.

Thanksgiving was a great time and I got to see my brother, sister-in-law and future nephew (sis-n-law is expecting, yay!).  While I wasn't just honestly excited about the logistics of traveling to them, I was glad to see my family who I hadn't seen in far too long.  My brother is silly and fun and is so excited about becoming a father again.  Thinking about my time with my family makes me smile through sadness and uncertainty.  I keep myself surrounded by my loved ones and when I realize that I'm taking them for granted, I make myself stop and think.  And thank God for them.  You never know how long you have them for.

So, thanks, God.  For my life.  And my loves.  And just letting me be.

Salaam,
jMed

okay, here we go

I'm STILL reminiscing about my time in Jordan.  I think about it probably every single day.

Whether I say something in Arabic, or smell something that is vaguely familiar, or just sit too long, Jordan comes up in my thoughts.  For a while there, I wasn't sure I would make the entire trip.  But I'm so thankful that I did.  I feel like so much was opened up for me and it has totally expanded my horizons in general.  I feel so empowered by my trip.  Before, I was really just existing.  Living, but not really getting the most out of it.  I am an outspoken, headstrong person, but I feel so much more able to go out and do whatever I can.  I am more excited about my future and what there is out there and I'm eager to see what's in store.

My recent trip to New York also helped my outlook on life.  While the length and scope of this trip are much smaller than my trek to Jordan, this also solidified my new lease on things.  Hell, I'm even considering moving to New York.  I can't believe that either.  Who would have thought this slow-paced Southern Belle would want to live in the hustle and bustle of the Big Apple?  Yea, me neither.  After that trip, I got a chance to meet Secretary Clinton and just be in the midst of such influence and power (yes, power, but not in a scary tyranny type of power haha).  I think I've finally figured out where I would like to go with my life.  It's such a relief to at least know what I want to spend my life on.  Now, the whole post-grad job situation?  I'm still working on that part ;)

I don't know, I'm at a place in life where I am content, but still wanting to grow.  I feel like I'm at the most exciting part of my life and I'm feeling good about all of the possibilities.  I'm praying for favorable outcomes and just that I can be the best in what I'll do.  So until bokra--tomorrow--or whenever I next write, salaam,

jMed

ahlan

First post on the new blog.

I've been wanting to start this blog for a while, but I just didn't have the heart or the inspiration until now.  I have really been thinking about it and in the last couple of weeks I've been more inspired.

At this point, I still don't have a lot to say, but I do hope that in the future, y'all out there will read what I write and I hope that there's something that will help you or brighten your day somehow.

So until next time, salaam,

jMed