lately

First, I'd like to say, I LOVE my Razorbacks, no matter what, so all that trash talk can stop.  Woo Pig.

I digress...

This last week or so has been a pretty sad one, to say the least.  I lost a Sorority sister, a church member, and then another church member, who bless her heart was only 20 years old.  She went to have a celebratory meal with her friends and in the rain and grossness of the day, was in a car accident and was killed.  My heart broke when my mother told me that this girl was gone.  I seriously had to do a double take and ask her to repeat what she said.  It was a feeling of instant shock and sadness.  Ever since then, I have been just sick to my stomach for my friend's family.

I mean, I just couldn't fathom being a mother and having to bury my child who is just starting out life as an adult.  There's so much to see and do and experience, that's just a horrible time.  And mamas should not bury their children.  It should not happen like that.  My heart is just hurting.

Times are hard, y'all.  This has just been a truly surreal week.  But in all of the craziness and sadness that has hit home for me, I keep on pressing.

Thanksgiving was a great time and I got to see my brother, sister-in-law and future nephew (sis-n-law is expecting, yay!).  While I wasn't just honestly excited about the logistics of traveling to them, I was glad to see my family who I hadn't seen in far too long.  My brother is silly and fun and is so excited about becoming a father again.  Thinking about my time with my family makes me smile through sadness and uncertainty.  I keep myself surrounded by my loved ones and when I realize that I'm taking them for granted, I make myself stop and think.  And thank God for them.  You never know how long you have them for.

So, thanks, God.  For my life.  And my loves.  And just letting me be.

Salaam,
jMed