it's 2012?!

Happy new year, all!

I can not believe that it's a new year already.  It seems that as I get older, the years go by faster, with much less excitement than before.  Somehow that saddens me.  I mean, I get that I understand more and can see more in my community and my city and the world at large, but geez, I like being excited about life.

But you know what, this past year, especially the second half, I learned so much about myself and what I can do.  I've titled this blog "mandhour" and that word has special meaning for me.  While I was in Jordan, I was able to experience things that I would likely not in the United States.  I found that our American notions of the Middle East are so off and nowhere near accurate (I'm pretty sure that's due to our collective thinking that we are the most supreme in the world.  Um, how bout no, my fellow countrymen, NO!).  From my varied experiences, I developed a new perspective.  Learning from new experiences definitely didn't stop in Jordan.  I came home, went to New York, interacted with lots of different folks and I continued to take in everything I could.  A new way to see things and a new way to think about what goes on around me (and when I say around me, I mean what's happening all over the world.  That's around me too, even if not close in proximity at all).  Mandhour--the Arabic word meaning perspective.  It is now incorporated into my life.  When I get to mental places where I make unreasonable or irrational thoughts (which, is way more than it should be haha!), I make myself stop to first give thanks for my life and the blessing that it is, then I think about the opportunities I've had and how things could be so much different.

Mandhour.

Lately I haven't been great at remembering these things and it's been putting me in a tizzy.  I've been way too emotional or way too attached and in some cases way too analytical about stuff that I know good and doggone well that I need to just let go.  Let live and let go and let God.  How hard is it, really?  Evidently it's been more difficult than it ought to be.  Been too serious about getting minor things done.  Too serious about little matters.  Too serious about aspects of relationships that could very well change with the snap of a finger.  Just too damn serious.  I'm too young to be so serious.  Granted, a bad mood or two is completely normal, but getting stuck in these serious funks is where the problem is.

Well, this morning as I watched the Today Show, one segment focused on happiness in the American workplace and how less that 50% of Americans are happy with their jobs. I could look at this two ways.  One would say that there are so many people who would die to have a job, so stop complaining.  The other says, goodness gracious, if that many people are not happy, then there is a serious problem.  I know there are so many factors that keep people from chasing their dreams and being truly happy, but I want that cycle to stop with me.  And that's with more than just workplace contentment and happiness.  That's with my entire life.  I want to do what will make me happy.  Of course I'd like to live well, but what good will any of that do if I can't also enjoy it?

So anyway, I'm just really thrilled to see what's next, especially the next few months and right after graduation (can't believe I'm almost done with this program!  It has gone by so stinkin fast!).  I just wanna live it up and be happy.  Tell people how I feel, let them know their value in my life (or eliminate them if there is no value HA!), just make the most out of this life.  I mean, because there's only one, ya know!

With new found and ever-progressing and ever-growing mandhour, salaam,

jMed