get a clue

I'm not a mean person, nor do I take pleasure in having to be mean when I am.

With that said, I might not be mean, but I can't stand foolery and unnecessary-ness...I know that's not a word, but you know what I mean here.  I've really gotten to know myself and I really appreciate who I am becoming...I'm pretty matter-of-fact and to-the-point, and I don't usually leave much room for doubt.

Picture it, mid 2013 and I meet a really nice guy who seems to have honest intentions.  He is gainfully employed (he's a pilot, y'all, how cool is that?!), tall, handsome, pretty respectable, although not much for punctuality (which should have been the first, second and third strikes for me when we'd go out together)...We chat, hang out pretty often and talk regularly.  Then in one conversation, he insults me, whether he knows it or not, and I make my disdain (read:  anger haha!) pretty clear.  He doesn't understand why I was so frustrated, but I was.  And I don't deal too well with wrong-doings that come without correction.

So I dismissed him.  Promptly.  From every aspect of my life possible.  With absolutely no regret or looking back wondering "what if" (Disclaimer:  This episode comes after a hurt that is still healing, which leaves me with even less wiggle room than I give in the first place.)

Well, I was out celebrating one of my good friends who is moving back to her home state (shoutout Brit!!  Love and miss you already!) with a little salsa dancing (check out Little Rock Salsa!  The salsa community here in LR is growing and I love it!) when lo, and behold I see the dismissed sir himself.  I'm sure my face wreaked with shock that I actually saw him, but even more, I'm surprised at how the feelings of disdain came back upon me.

As I danced with my group of friends I brought with me and other salseros in the place, I glanced to see if that loser was still to be found.  Thank goodness, he wasn't....

Until...THIS MORNING, he sends me a text saying it was good to see me and apologizing for his complete a--hole-ness when our "whatever-it-was" was first starting (the whatever-it-was was absolutely nothing and a waste of my time hahahahahahaha!).  Why could he not get a clue that I was SERIOUS that I didn't want to talk to him when I quit responding (this includes last week or so when he contacted me...SMH simpletons)?  Like I said in the beginning, I really don't like to be mean, but I also do not ever want to speak to or see this guy again.  I asked my sisterboothang (shoutout RyDub!) what I should do and she says to let him know...AGAIN...that I don't want to be bothered.  So after he sends a looooooong message asking for forgiveness, I say a simple "Please leave me alone."

I felt that familiar twinge of "oh dang, why so mean creep up in me," but then I realized that I have to be selfish and guard my heart and my own feelings and if it has no place in my life then dismiss it.

Long story short (too late), I won't be hearing from dude again, THANK GOD!  And I feel so much better.  Shoutout to being direct!  LOL

Besides, like my favorite movie character, Carmen Jones, says, "The wind's blowin' me in anotha direction and it ain't no use aaaaaarguin' wit da wind....." (insert coy smile here)...

So until next time, Salaam,

jMed