 |
| André waiting for Ms. Loretta at the altar :) |
Salaam,
jMed
Sunday, January 20, 2013
félicitations!
Today I was honored to witness two of my church family friends marry today. Ms. Loretta and André married after our morning worship service today. They looked so happy! She looked beautiful and I know that they have a happy life ahead together. Praying for you both :)
Until next time,
Salaam,
jMed
Salaam,
jMed
Friday, January 18, 2013
2013, what?
I seriously have been a giant slacker in keeping this blog up to date. There's not much to update on, but I've just got a few tiny recaps and shout outs haha!
First, (a belated) Merry Christmas 2012. Yes, I know, about 3 1/2 weeks late, but every day can be Jesus' birthday! Speaking of Jesus' birth, my church, St. John Missionary Baptist Church, did a production for the holiday based on the Black Nativity (check out a clip of one version of the Black Nativity here). My, what a treat that was! I was cast to play the Blessed Virgin. If you know me, you know how funny that is, for several reasons. One, I'm not an actress. I love performing arts, but that was not the performing art with which I was gifted. Two, let's just put it this way, Jasmine and kids = skrrrrrrrrrr. I was so nervous because I've never acted and it is so out of my comfort zone. In any case, during rehearsals, during the actual performance, our cast, led by our awesome Minister of Music, had chuuuuuuuuuuuurch! Y'all we were blessed every single time we had to run through a scene. The Holy Ghost filled that place over and over again. I'm glad that I was a part of that. It was so different for St. John, but I hope we continue to do creative and innovative things like that in the future.
Second, (another belated) Happy New Year! Late, again. Don't judge. (As an aside, am I the only one who gets wickedly annoyed when folks say "Happy New Years!"? I mean, we only celebrate ONE new year at a time, so what sense does it make to say "years"? That just burns me up! Let's do better, y'all, and say Happy New Year. Soapbox over.)
Third, (gosh, I'm seriously slacking) an ear-piercing Skeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-Wee to my beloved Sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated! We were very blessed to celebrate 105 years of service and sisterhood this past Tuesday, January 15, 2013. What an honor it is to be a part of such an illustrious and esteemed organization, that (to my heart's content) is controlled and run by BLACK WOMEN! This group of women is so resourceful and hard-working, but more than that, we are a group that truly loves each other. In the past few years there have been a few bumps in the road (that I won't go into), but we continue to strive toward excellence! Special shout out to my dear Omicron Chi chapter at my Alma Mater Rhodes College, and of course, my heart, my Beta Pi Omega chapter here in LR! I would not be the woman I am today if these two chapters had not bestowed upon me the honor of being among their ranks.
And to my sisters in Greekdom, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated, welcome to the Centennial club! If I know anything, I know it was so exciting to make that journey back to where it started. We are not a part of the same group, but it makes me proud to see yet more beautiful women doing amazing things in the community!
The biggest thing I have to share right now, though, is a testimony to how good God has been to my family in the past year. So in 2012, January 13, my mom suffered a minor stroke. We had been noticing stuff like her talking crazy and not doing things the way she normally would, and it finally happened. But bless God for several people. I called my mom at work to ask her something, but they told me that she had gone home for the day because she was sick. Anyone who knows her knows that she NEVER goes home sick. Like ever. In fact, we have to make her take off just because. I knew something was up then. I raced home (probably going about 30 mph above the speed limit the entire day) and found my mother there, as some of her co-workers drove her home, disoriented, saying that she just didn't feel right. I called my sister and told her what was up, and she called a doctor she used to work with (she's in pharmaceuticals) to see if we could get Mama in. The nurse who answered probably saved Mama's life. Cindy. My sister explained to Cindy what was going on and Cindy said we probably needed to get Ma to the ER as soon as we could. God forever bless Cindy. I drove my mom as fast as I could to the ER without having a wreck or wrecking her nerves and mine, and they got her in relatively quickly. Thank God for the lady checking in patients. She slide us up toward the front so we could be seen. In triage, Mom's BP was (at least) in the 200s/100s. Stroke level. At that point, we didn't know what it was. The doctors were so nice and the nurses were so nice to all of us. They brought Mom's BP down slowly and teased at her to take care of herself, and they kept her over night. Y'all, I thought I was in a nightmare...
I'm telling you, that was the most traumatic time ever. Over the course of the next few weeks and months, we found out that she'd had a stroke, albeit minor, we got her on the appropriate medicines and got her into therapy. By the grace of God, today, my Mom is recovered. She isn't the exact same person as before, but she is HERE and she is BETTER. I can't tell you the number of times when I would just cry myself to sleep thinking about what could have been and how I could have helped make sure this didn't happen, and even why this had to happen in the first place. I didn't know how I would get through. We kept seeing improvements and more improvements and steps that told us that she was getting better. I mean, sometimes she has problems, but, she does much better at taking care of herself than she did before. Then on January 13, 2013, it marked a year since she first got sick. I still feel anxious and sometimes really worried about my mom's health and whether something else will happen, but I am marking this important milestone. I can't believe that in that year, I finished grad school, started a new job, my sister started a new job, I've had major changes in major relationships, so much stuff. But thank God. My Mommy is getting better. One day at a time.
I forgot what my end point was when I started telling that story, but I hope that someone is touched by it. No matter was the situation is, there is always a light at the end of that. There are always going to be storms, but after the storms are the most beautiful rainbows...So until next time,
Salaam,
jMed
P.S. One more shout out to two very sweet people, Ms. Loretta (I know you're reading this!) and Andre! They are getting married this Sunday!! My prayers for a wonderful marriage go out to you!!
First, (a belated) Merry Christmas 2012. Yes, I know, about 3 1/2 weeks late, but every day can be Jesus' birthday! Speaking of Jesus' birth, my church, St. John Missionary Baptist Church, did a production for the holiday based on the Black Nativity (check out a clip of one version of the Black Nativity here). My, what a treat that was! I was cast to play the Blessed Virgin. If you know me, you know how funny that is, for several reasons. One, I'm not an actress. I love performing arts, but that was not the performing art with which I was gifted. Two, let's just put it this way, Jasmine and kids = skrrrrrrrrrr. I was so nervous because I've never acted and it is so out of my comfort zone. In any case, during rehearsals, during the actual performance, our cast, led by our awesome Minister of Music, had chuuuuuuuuuuuurch! Y'all we were blessed every single time we had to run through a scene. The Holy Ghost filled that place over and over again. I'm glad that I was a part of that. It was so different for St. John, but I hope we continue to do creative and innovative things like that in the future.
Second, (another belated) Happy New Year! Late, again. Don't judge. (As an aside, am I the only one who gets wickedly annoyed when folks say "Happy New Years!"? I mean, we only celebrate ONE new year at a time, so what sense does it make to say "years"? That just burns me up! Let's do better, y'all, and say Happy New Year. Soapbox over.)
Third, (gosh, I'm seriously slacking) an ear-piercing Skeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-Wee to my beloved Sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated! We were very blessed to celebrate 105 years of service and sisterhood this past Tuesday, January 15, 2013. What an honor it is to be a part of such an illustrious and esteemed organization, that (to my heart's content) is controlled and run by BLACK WOMEN! This group of women is so resourceful and hard-working, but more than that, we are a group that truly loves each other. In the past few years there have been a few bumps in the road (that I won't go into), but we continue to strive toward excellence! Special shout out to my dear Omicron Chi chapter at my Alma Mater Rhodes College, and of course, my heart, my Beta Pi Omega chapter here in LR! I would not be the woman I am today if these two chapters had not bestowed upon me the honor of being among their ranks.
And to my sisters in Greekdom, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated, welcome to the Centennial club! If I know anything, I know it was so exciting to make that journey back to where it started. We are not a part of the same group, but it makes me proud to see yet more beautiful women doing amazing things in the community!
The biggest thing I have to share right now, though, is a testimony to how good God has been to my family in the past year. So in 2012, January 13, my mom suffered a minor stroke. We had been noticing stuff like her talking crazy and not doing things the way she normally would, and it finally happened. But bless God for several people. I called my mom at work to ask her something, but they told me that she had gone home for the day because she was sick. Anyone who knows her knows that she NEVER goes home sick. Like ever. In fact, we have to make her take off just because. I knew something was up then. I raced home (probably going about 30 mph above the speed limit the entire day) and found my mother there, as some of her co-workers drove her home, disoriented, saying that she just didn't feel right. I called my sister and told her what was up, and she called a doctor she used to work with (she's in pharmaceuticals) to see if we could get Mama in. The nurse who answered probably saved Mama's life. Cindy. My sister explained to Cindy what was going on and Cindy said we probably needed to get Ma to the ER as soon as we could. God forever bless Cindy. I drove my mom as fast as I could to the ER without having a wreck or wrecking her nerves and mine, and they got her in relatively quickly. Thank God for the lady checking in patients. She slide us up toward the front so we could be seen. In triage, Mom's BP was (at least) in the 200s/100s. Stroke level. At that point, we didn't know what it was. The doctors were so nice and the nurses were so nice to all of us. They brought Mom's BP down slowly and teased at her to take care of herself, and they kept her over night. Y'all, I thought I was in a nightmare...
I'm telling you, that was the most traumatic time ever. Over the course of the next few weeks and months, we found out that she'd had a stroke, albeit minor, we got her on the appropriate medicines and got her into therapy. By the grace of God, today, my Mom is recovered. She isn't the exact same person as before, but she is HERE and she is BETTER. I can't tell you the number of times when I would just cry myself to sleep thinking about what could have been and how I could have helped make sure this didn't happen, and even why this had to happen in the first place. I didn't know how I would get through. We kept seeing improvements and more improvements and steps that told us that she was getting better. I mean, sometimes she has problems, but, she does much better at taking care of herself than she did before. Then on January 13, 2013, it marked a year since she first got sick. I still feel anxious and sometimes really worried about my mom's health and whether something else will happen, but I am marking this important milestone. I can't believe that in that year, I finished grad school, started a new job, my sister started a new job, I've had major changes in major relationships, so much stuff. But thank God. My Mommy is getting better. One day at a time.
I forgot what my end point was when I started telling that story, but I hope that someone is touched by it. No matter was the situation is, there is always a light at the end of that. There are always going to be storms, but after the storms are the most beautiful rainbows...So until next time,
Salaam,
jMed
P.S. One more shout out to two very sweet people, Ms. Loretta (I know you're reading this!) and Andre! They are getting married this Sunday!! My prayers for a wonderful marriage go out to you!!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
patience.
After a series of minor (read: minor, but in my over-analytical, girly mind, major) events in my life, I've come to a major realization.
I finished up in grad school in May, while nursing my mom back to health and searching for my first post-CS (CS - Clinton School) job. My mom was doing beautifully, but the job search, not so much. I was beginning to be really stressed and feeling down. I mean, I'd gone to school for pretty much my entire life and I had always done well. I followed the rules and did what I thought I was supposed to do. WHHHYYYYYYYYYYY was this search so annoyingly long and unfruitful??
Well, by August, I had gone to a few informational interviews, spoken with awesome people who I thought might be able to get me through the door of some agency, and I'd even sent my resume out to tons of folks. Nothing seemed to be turning up. But then, I got a call from a good family friend, the mother of one of my dearest friends. She told me about a job opening in the building where she works and details, salary, all that. This lady saw the posting and thought that my experiences at the Clinton School would fit in perfectly with what this position was offering. She also let me know that the guy hiring for that job would be calling me soon. Well, the guy did call me, telling me more about the position and what I might be doing and all that good stuff. Then, he goes, "Would you like to interview for this position?" Me: "Sure!" Him: "Okay, what about tomorrow?" Me: (thinking) Oh crap, can I really prepare for an interview that quickly? "Yes!"
I interviewed for that position the next day, a Wednesday. The interview was pretty lengthy, but relaxed, and long story short, about an hour after my interview was over, the guy called to hire me! LOOK AT GOD!
What was even cooler was that I started that new job five days later! LOOK AT GOD SOME MO! I received what I needed at the time where God ordained it.
Okay, now, I need to you just put a pin in that story...
Over the course of the last year, I'd fallen in love with my best friend. He knew how I felt, and without going into a whole lot of detail, he decided that someone else was the person he needed to be with and that HURT. Horribly.
I've grown from that experience and moved on (for the most part, I mean, there are times when I question myself), but sometimes I find myself asking of God why I have to deal with such things. Like, right now, why do I have to deal with family members (close ones, at that) who don't seemingly care for or support me, or why did we have to go through my mother getting sick, and why, again, Lord, am I dealing with the evasiveness of love in my life?
I have moments of clarity sometimes when I give myself a figurative punch in the throat and think, WHY NOT YOU?? Why shouldn't you go through these things? The things we deal with many times have nothing at all to do with us. Sometimes these situations do have something to do with us, but it is God's way of growing us and MAKING US learn and change when we need to. He won't allow us to have what we want until we get WHAT WE NEED and understand it and can give in fully to His will. I'm learning that now. The family thing, caring for a healing mother, finding love, God's taking me through some storms so that I will have the patience to make it through when I really do hit a rough patch. As annoying and tiring and frustrating as all these things can be, as a follower of Christ, these are the inevitable trials I will endure.
He's teaching me to not sweat the small stuff and count it all joy. He's teaching me that you have to be at a place where you can truly appreciate things like family dysfunction (because it can always be worse, right?), and what it's like to have to care for someone who'd previously cared for you, and to wait for genuine love to come along. None of those things are minor by any stretch of the imagination. Having them at the wrong time can lead to destruction. There is an appointed time for everything and everything has its appointed time. So that brings me to hearing the voice of the Lord and that phrase I (am learning not to) dread....
BE PATIENT.
It is becoming my daily mantra. Be patient. Things will come as they will and as they should. Worry doesn't do anything but slow down progress and decrease faith in God. Be patient. Still, look at the AMAZING things God has done (like, waked you up this morning, for starters), thank Him for His presence in your life, know and understand that His timing is perfect and on time. But be patient.
This is a (long) process. A never-ending one. But I am on it.
For now, learning patience is my cross to bear.
Salaam,
jMed.
I finished up in grad school in May, while nursing my mom back to health and searching for my first post-CS (CS - Clinton School) job. My mom was doing beautifully, but the job search, not so much. I was beginning to be really stressed and feeling down. I mean, I'd gone to school for pretty much my entire life and I had always done well. I followed the rules and did what I thought I was supposed to do. WHHHYYYYYYYYYYY was this search so annoyingly long and unfruitful??
Well, by August, I had gone to a few informational interviews, spoken with awesome people who I thought might be able to get me through the door of some agency, and I'd even sent my resume out to tons of folks. Nothing seemed to be turning up. But then, I got a call from a good family friend, the mother of one of my dearest friends. She told me about a job opening in the building where she works and details, salary, all that. This lady saw the posting and thought that my experiences at the Clinton School would fit in perfectly with what this position was offering. She also let me know that the guy hiring for that job would be calling me soon. Well, the guy did call me, telling me more about the position and what I might be doing and all that good stuff. Then, he goes, "Would you like to interview for this position?" Me: "Sure!" Him: "Okay, what about tomorrow?" Me: (thinking) Oh crap, can I really prepare for an interview that quickly? "Yes!"
I interviewed for that position the next day, a Wednesday. The interview was pretty lengthy, but relaxed, and long story short, about an hour after my interview was over, the guy called to hire me! LOOK AT GOD!
What was even cooler was that I started that new job five days later! LOOK AT GOD SOME MO! I received what I needed at the time where God ordained it.
Okay, now, I need to you just put a pin in that story...
Over the course of the last year, I'd fallen in love with my best friend. He knew how I felt, and without going into a whole lot of detail, he decided that someone else was the person he needed to be with and that HURT. Horribly.
I've grown from that experience and moved on (for the most part, I mean, there are times when I question myself), but sometimes I find myself asking of God why I have to deal with such things. Like, right now, why do I have to deal with family members (close ones, at that) who don't seemingly care for or support me, or why did we have to go through my mother getting sick, and why, again, Lord, am I dealing with the evasiveness of love in my life?
I have moments of clarity sometimes when I give myself a figurative punch in the throat and think, WHY NOT YOU?? Why shouldn't you go through these things? The things we deal with many times have nothing at all to do with us. Sometimes these situations do have something to do with us, but it is God's way of growing us and MAKING US learn and change when we need to. He won't allow us to have what we want until we get WHAT WE NEED and understand it and can give in fully to His will. I'm learning that now. The family thing, caring for a healing mother, finding love, God's taking me through some storms so that I will have the patience to make it through when I really do hit a rough patch. As annoying and tiring and frustrating as all these things can be, as a follower of Christ, these are the inevitable trials I will endure.
He's teaching me to not sweat the small stuff and count it all joy. He's teaching me that you have to be at a place where you can truly appreciate things like family dysfunction (because it can always be worse, right?), and what it's like to have to care for someone who'd previously cared for you, and to wait for genuine love to come along. None of those things are minor by any stretch of the imagination. Having them at the wrong time can lead to destruction. There is an appointed time for everything and everything has its appointed time. So that brings me to hearing the voice of the Lord and that phrase I (am learning not to) dread....
BE PATIENT.
It is becoming my daily mantra. Be patient. Things will come as they will and as they should. Worry doesn't do anything but slow down progress and decrease faith in God. Be patient. Still, look at the AMAZING things God has done (like, waked you up this morning, for starters), thank Him for His presence in your life, know and understand that His timing is perfect and on time. But be patient.
This is a (long) process. A never-ending one. But I am on it.
For now, learning patience is my cross to bear.
Salaam,
jMed.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
perhaps i'll keep up this time...
Dear friends,
It has been almost five months to the day since I last wrote. I started out the new year thinking that I would write more and be a better blogger, but God had other plans...
...Only a couple of weeks after I wrote that last entry on January third, my mom got sick. At first, we didn't know what was going on, but after a couple of agonizing weeks of doctors and tests and fear and uncertainty and anger, we finally figured it out. Without going into a lot of detail, she is doing much better, al7amdulillah, and we are getting her healthy again. I don't know why this had to happen to my family, but God definitely had a plan to get us all to listen to Him and pay attention.
Not only was I dealing with getting my Mama healthy, I was finishing up grad school...My, how the time flies. I feel like I just started at the Clinton School yesterday and now I've finished! I just keep thinking that a year ago today, I was in Amman, having my first real taste of the big wide world and now I'm back. Time really does go by quickly!
I'm searching for jobs and figuring out what it is that I'd like to do for the time being. Man, that is a hard thing to think about because my interests are all over the place. I love people. I get excited about talking to people. I am interested in politics. Middle East affairs. Writing. I could find my niche anywhere, but I've got to narrow it down. Anyway, that's my life right now...
I can't believe that we're about to be in the middle of the year. With everything that's been going on, you'd think that I'd be going bat mess crazy, but I am really content. I am happy. My perspective on life and love and everything has changed. I spend more time doing the things I enjoy and being with the people I love. Perspective. There's that word again. Man. It's powerful.
Until next time (which will hopefully NOT be another five months haha),
Salaam,
jMed
It has been almost five months to the day since I last wrote. I started out the new year thinking that I would write more and be a better blogger, but God had other plans...
...Only a couple of weeks after I wrote that last entry on January third, my mom got sick. At first, we didn't know what was going on, but after a couple of agonizing weeks of doctors and tests and fear and uncertainty and anger, we finally figured it out. Without going into a lot of detail, she is doing much better, al7amdulillah, and we are getting her healthy again. I don't know why this had to happen to my family, but God definitely had a plan to get us all to listen to Him and pay attention.
Not only was I dealing with getting my Mama healthy, I was finishing up grad school...My, how the time flies. I feel like I just started at the Clinton School yesterday and now I've finished! I just keep thinking that a year ago today, I was in Amman, having my first real taste of the big wide world and now I'm back. Time really does go by quickly!
I'm searching for jobs and figuring out what it is that I'd like to do for the time being. Man, that is a hard thing to think about because my interests are all over the place. I love people. I get excited about talking to people. I am interested in politics. Middle East affairs. Writing. I could find my niche anywhere, but I've got to narrow it down. Anyway, that's my life right now...
I can't believe that we're about to be in the middle of the year. With everything that's been going on, you'd think that I'd be going bat mess crazy, but I am really content. I am happy. My perspective on life and love and everything has changed. I spend more time doing the things I enjoy and being with the people I love. Perspective. There's that word again. Man. It's powerful.
Until next time (which will hopefully NOT be another five months haha),
Salaam,
jMed
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
it's 2012?!
Happy new year, all!
I can not believe that it's a new year already. It seems that as I get older, the years go by faster, with much less excitement than before. Somehow that saddens me. I mean, I get that I understand more and can see more in my community and my city and the world at large, but geez, I like being excited about life.
But you know what, this past year, especially the second half, I learned so much about myself and what I can do. I've titled this blog "mandhour" and that word has special meaning for me. While I was in Jordan, I was able to experience things that I would likely not in the United States. I found that our American notions of the Middle East are so off and nowhere near accurate (I'm pretty sure that's due to our collective thinking that we are the most supreme in the world. Um, how bout no, my fellow countrymen, NO!). From my varied experiences, I developed a new perspective. Learning from new experiences definitely didn't stop in Jordan. I came home, went to New York, interacted with lots of different folks and I continued to take in everything I could. A new way to see things and a new way to think about what goes on around me (and when I say around me, I mean what's happening all over the world. That's around me too, even if not close in proximity at all). Mandhour--the Arabic word meaning perspective. It is now incorporated into my life. When I get to mental places where I make unreasonable or irrational thoughts (which, is way more than it should be haha!), I make myself stop to first give thanks for my life and the blessing that it is, then I think about the opportunities I've had and how things could be so much different.
Mandhour.
Lately I haven't been great at remembering these things and it's been putting me in a tizzy. I've been way too emotional or way too attached and in some cases way too analytical about stuff that I know good and doggone well that I need to just let go. Let live and let go and let God. How hard is it, really? Evidently it's been more difficult than it ought to be. Been too serious about getting minor things done. Too serious about little matters. Too serious about aspects of relationships that could very well change with the snap of a finger. Just too damn serious. I'm too young to be so serious. Granted, a bad mood or two is completely normal, but getting stuck in these serious funks is where the problem is.
Well, this morning as I watched the Today Show, one segment focused on happiness in the American workplace and how less that 50% of Americans are happy with their jobs. I could look at this two ways. One would say that there are so many people who would die to have a job, so stop complaining. The other says, goodness gracious, if that many people are not happy, then there is a serious problem. I know there are so many factors that keep people from chasing their dreams and being truly happy, but I want that cycle to stop with me. And that's with more than just workplace contentment and happiness. That's with my entire life. I want to do what will make me happy. Of course I'd like to live well, but what good will any of that do if I can't also enjoy it?
So anyway, I'm just really thrilled to see what's next, especially the next few months and right after graduation (can't believe I'm almost done with this program! It has gone by so stinkin fast!). I just wanna live it up and be happy. Tell people how I feel, let them know their value in my life (or eliminate them if there is no value HA!), just make the most out of this life. I mean, because there's only one, ya know!
With new found and ever-progressing and ever-growing mandhour, salaam,
jMed
I can not believe that it's a new year already. It seems that as I get older, the years go by faster, with much less excitement than before. Somehow that saddens me. I mean, I get that I understand more and can see more in my community and my city and the world at large, but geez, I like being excited about life.
But you know what, this past year, especially the second half, I learned so much about myself and what I can do. I've titled this blog "mandhour" and that word has special meaning for me. While I was in Jordan, I was able to experience things that I would likely not in the United States. I found that our American notions of the Middle East are so off and nowhere near accurate (I'm pretty sure that's due to our collective thinking that we are the most supreme in the world. Um, how bout no, my fellow countrymen, NO!). From my varied experiences, I developed a new perspective. Learning from new experiences definitely didn't stop in Jordan. I came home, went to New York, interacted with lots of different folks and I continued to take in everything I could. A new way to see things and a new way to think about what goes on around me (and when I say around me, I mean what's happening all over the world. That's around me too, even if not close in proximity at all). Mandhour--the Arabic word meaning perspective. It is now incorporated into my life. When I get to mental places where I make unreasonable or irrational thoughts (which, is way more than it should be haha!), I make myself stop to first give thanks for my life and the blessing that it is, then I think about the opportunities I've had and how things could be so much different.
Mandhour.
Lately I haven't been great at remembering these things and it's been putting me in a tizzy. I've been way too emotional or way too attached and in some cases way too analytical about stuff that I know good and doggone well that I need to just let go. Let live and let go and let God. How hard is it, really? Evidently it's been more difficult than it ought to be. Been too serious about getting minor things done. Too serious about little matters. Too serious about aspects of relationships that could very well change with the snap of a finger. Just too damn serious. I'm too young to be so serious. Granted, a bad mood or two is completely normal, but getting stuck in these serious funks is where the problem is.
Well, this morning as I watched the Today Show, one segment focused on happiness in the American workplace and how less that 50% of Americans are happy with their jobs. I could look at this two ways. One would say that there are so many people who would die to have a job, so stop complaining. The other says, goodness gracious, if that many people are not happy, then there is a serious problem. I know there are so many factors that keep people from chasing their dreams and being truly happy, but I want that cycle to stop with me. And that's with more than just workplace contentment and happiness. That's with my entire life. I want to do what will make me happy. Of course I'd like to live well, but what good will any of that do if I can't also enjoy it?
So anyway, I'm just really thrilled to see what's next, especially the next few months and right after graduation (can't believe I'm almost done with this program! It has gone by so stinkin fast!). I just wanna live it up and be happy. Tell people how I feel, let them know their value in my life (or eliminate them if there is no value HA!), just make the most out of this life. I mean, because there's only one, ya know!
With new found and ever-progressing and ever-growing mandhour, salaam,
jMed
Friday, December 9, 2011
it's Christmastime!
I can't believe that Christmas is only a little over two weeks away! This year has been flying by, literally!
I'm a little sad that the holiday has come upon us so quickly. It seems that as I get older, the wonderment and fantasy that comes with the Christmas fades with each passing year. I mean, I will Christmas holiday and all that it (truly) represents for me, but I miss that feeling of excitement that I used to have. I remember times when I could barely sleep Christmas Eve night and I swore to high heaven that I heard reindeer hoofs on my roof. Don't judge me, guys, I was like eight. Give me a break. But you get my point. It was just a magical time. And while it still is, I just understand more and can see more and the magic isn't there like it used to be.
But I digress from this. It's making me sad to talk about Christmas like a real life grown up!
On a totally different note, I can't believe that I am about to be in my last semester as a graduate student. This last year and a half has gone by. I still feel like I should be getting dressed in my City Year uniform, going to Seventh Street (it's over theeeeeere!! Yea CE Team!), helping young people learn to be better readers. Alas, that really was two years ago, just about. I am so grateful for the opportunity to study at this institution. I feel like I'll be so much more prepared to tackle life as a public servant. Now, the million dollar question is still this, what will I do? I still don't know what exactly I'll do, but I'm sure that I'm on my way to figuring it out...Ehhh, we'll see what happens.
I feel like I'm all over the place today with this entry. I felt like I hadn't written in a while so I should give it a go, but I'm finding that I don't really have anything of substance to talk about right now. Who would have thought?! Jasmine with no words to say? I can hardly believe it myself!
So I'm going to stop here for now until I really feel led to write something else. Y'all keep-a-livin. Until next time, salaam,
jMed
I'm a little sad that the holiday has come upon us so quickly. It seems that as I get older, the wonderment and fantasy that comes with the Christmas fades with each passing year. I mean, I will Christmas holiday and all that it (truly) represents for me, but I miss that feeling of excitement that I used to have. I remember times when I could barely sleep Christmas Eve night and I swore to high heaven that I heard reindeer hoofs on my roof. Don't judge me, guys, I was like eight. Give me a break. But you get my point. It was just a magical time. And while it still is, I just understand more and can see more and the magic isn't there like it used to be.
But I digress from this. It's making me sad to talk about Christmas like a real life grown up!
On a totally different note, I can't believe that I am about to be in my last semester as a graduate student. This last year and a half has gone by. I still feel like I should be getting dressed in my City Year uniform, going to Seventh Street (it's over theeeeeere!! Yea CE Team!), helping young people learn to be better readers. Alas, that really was two years ago, just about. I am so grateful for the opportunity to study at this institution. I feel like I'll be so much more prepared to tackle life as a public servant. Now, the million dollar question is still this, what will I do? I still don't know what exactly I'll do, but I'm sure that I'm on my way to figuring it out...Ehhh, we'll see what happens.
I feel like I'm all over the place today with this entry. I felt like I hadn't written in a while so I should give it a go, but I'm finding that I don't really have anything of substance to talk about right now. Who would have thought?! Jasmine with no words to say? I can hardly believe it myself!
So I'm going to stop here for now until I really feel led to write something else. Y'all keep-a-livin. Until next time, salaam,
jMed
Saturday, November 26, 2011
lately
First, I'd like to say, I LOVE my Razorbacks, no matter what, so all that trash talk can stop. Woo Pig.
I digress...
This last week or so has been a pretty sad one, to say the least. I lost a Sorority sister, a church member, and then another church member, who bless her heart was only 20 years old. She went to have a celebratory meal with her friends and in the rain and grossness of the day, was in a car accident and was killed. My heart broke when my mother told me that this girl was gone. I seriously had to do a double take and ask her to repeat what she said. It was a feeling of instant shock and sadness. Ever since then, I have been just sick to my stomach for my friend's family.
I mean, I just couldn't fathom being a mother and having to bury my child who is just starting out life as an adult. There's so much to see and do and experience, that's just a horrible time. And mamas should not bury their children. It should not happen like that. My heart is just hurting.
Times are hard, y'all. This has just been a truly surreal week. But in all of the craziness and sadness that has hit home for me, I keep on pressing.
Thanksgiving was a great time and I got to see my brother, sister-in-law and future nephew (sis-n-law is expecting, yay!). While I wasn't just honestly excited about the logistics of traveling to them, I was glad to see my family who I hadn't seen in far too long. My brother is silly and fun and is so excited about becoming a father again. Thinking about my time with my family makes me smile through sadness and uncertainty. I keep myself surrounded by my loved ones and when I realize that I'm taking them for granted, I make myself stop and think. And thank God for them. You never know how long you have them for.
So, thanks, God. For my life. And my loves. And just letting me be.
Salaam,
jMed
I digress...
This last week or so has been a pretty sad one, to say the least. I lost a Sorority sister, a church member, and then another church member, who bless her heart was only 20 years old. She went to have a celebratory meal with her friends and in the rain and grossness of the day, was in a car accident and was killed. My heart broke when my mother told me that this girl was gone. I seriously had to do a double take and ask her to repeat what she said. It was a feeling of instant shock and sadness. Ever since then, I have been just sick to my stomach for my friend's family.
I mean, I just couldn't fathom being a mother and having to bury my child who is just starting out life as an adult. There's so much to see and do and experience, that's just a horrible time. And mamas should not bury their children. It should not happen like that. My heart is just hurting.
Times are hard, y'all. This has just been a truly surreal week. But in all of the craziness and sadness that has hit home for me, I keep on pressing.
Thanksgiving was a great time and I got to see my brother, sister-in-law and future nephew (sis-n-law is expecting, yay!). While I wasn't just honestly excited about the logistics of traveling to them, I was glad to see my family who I hadn't seen in far too long. My brother is silly and fun and is so excited about becoming a father again. Thinking about my time with my family makes me smile through sadness and uncertainty. I keep myself surrounded by my loved ones and when I realize that I'm taking them for granted, I make myself stop and think. And thank God for them. You never know how long you have them for.
So, thanks, God. For my life. And my loves. And just letting me be.
Salaam,
jMed
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